January is four months today! Which also means happy four months of breastfeeding!!!! This journey so far has had its fair share of ups and downs and I’m so happy I can get them down on a post to share with others.
The early days (the back story)
I remember being pregnant and going back and forth on whether I was going to breastfeed or formula feed (side note: there is NOTHING wrong with formula feeding. A fed baby is best!). After going back and forth and talking to women in my life, I ultimately decided to give breastfeeding a try. The way I saw it was, there was no harm in at least TRYING and if it didn’t work out then I would switch to formula.
The day January was born and the next few days in the hospital, I had the lactation specialist visit me every couple of hours because of how frustrated I was. I didn’t know if I she was latching right. Why did it hurt my nipples so much? How do I know if she is even getting anything? Oh and the exhaustion of waking up every two hours to feed! The first two days of her life I didn’t sleep (new mom syndrome) so I gave in and let my mom bottle feed her with formula plus I continued to try breastfeeding. I saw this challenge as something I wanted to tackle head on and I personally wasn’t ready to completely give up yet. At this point I gave myself a goal, if I can make it to two weeks I will be happy with myself.
After bringing January home, we waited and waited for my milk to come in took about 3 days (6 days since she’d been born) and during this waiting period, we gave her 1-2 bottles of formula a day and the rest of the time she was breastfed. When my milk did finally come in, it was like I had won the lottery! I was beyond ecstatic and felt a wave of relief. I felt like I could finally feed my girl and know that she was actually getting something.
Over the next couple of weeks I saw my body in a whole new form and had mix emotions. I WAS A MILK MACHINE. I was happy I could feed January but before I introduced myself to a pump, all I was was a giant walking breathing milk machine. No more formula which meant no more sleeping an extra hour or two. I was up every two hours to feed a screaming very hungry baby. My only saving grace was the haaka, it allowed me to catch my let down on the opposite boob and we used that to bottle feed J about once to twice a day. After making it past those two weeks I told myself, if I can make it to two months I will be happy with myself. (Although lactation specialist will advise to not pump before 6 weeks and to wait to use a bottle to feed so there isn't nipple confusion - I just couldn’t wait that long.)
Over the next couple of months, and now having a breast pump, I was starting to actually enjoy breastfeeding. There’s something about having your child rely on you for their source of nutrients that makes me feel like superwoman/mom. Many moms will say there is a special bond when you breastfeed, and it's true there is a bond when you look down at your tiny human and their eyes gaze back at you but I believe this can be true for bottle feeding too. After I made it to the two month mark, I gave myself yet another goal. If I can make it to four months I will be pleased and satisfied...
Fast forward to present day
Here we are at four months, and I can say I FINALLY have gotten the hang of breastfeeding. There are still a few curveballs to work out (like breastfeeding in public - I'm still shy about it) but all in all I can honestly say that I enjoy breastfeeding and knowing that January is getting the nutrients and antibodies that she needs makes me extremely elated. I also have set a new goal of six months...
Let me know about your breastfeeding journey. Did you find it difficult? When were you finally able to enjoy it?
- December Jones
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